


Orionids Shower

by lyraelights



Series: You shot across my sky like a meteor [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyraelights/pseuds/lyraelights
Summary: Even in other dimensions, Carlie Cullen despairs over the state of canon. A collection of AUs and spin-offs to Quadrantids Shower that may or not may expand.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Felix/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Original Female Character(s), Jacob Black/Renesmee Cullen
Series: You shot across my sky like a meteor [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906849
Comments: 27
Kudos: 103





	1. Who wants to be King?

**Author's Note:**

> This is because my mind wanders. I think about future Carlie and all the what-ifs out there too much. This is also inspired by the fans, the comments, the ships, and ideas floating around on the internet. I intend on making this a compilation of teasers and possible side-works to the original QS storyline. Most of these bits are probably not going to be canon. Maybe. I don't know yet. If one of these plot bunnies become super appealing or insanely popular, I might consider making it canon. :D

* * *

_The one where you died and left me a fanatically loyal warrior order._

* * *

I stare at the vampire, eyes wide, mouth hanging unattractively open. Concerned with my response, Demetri turned to his fellow guard member, Felix, who just gave a brief shrug.

"Master?"

I choke at the title. I'm dead, going from shock to complete denial. "Ughwah," my mouth blurts out, struggling to come up with something coherent and appropriately commanding.

The vampires take pity on me.

"We will return for your reply in three days?"

Mindlessly, my head bobs up and down.

After the vampires disappear, the werewolves decide to grace me with their presence. Renesmee has recently begun accompanying them on patrol. Absentmindedly, I wave at her.

Renesmee appears beside me, face murderous. "What happened?" she demanded.

I pause, not sure where to start. After all, it's not every day you're made King of Vampires.

* * *

"The vampire monarchy has always been established through challenges. Complete annihilation of the previous monarchy has been the only way to obtain power. There has never been a case where royalty was appointed by a previous ruler."

"To keep the balance," Carlisle continued, "The council needs a third vote to make decisions. As we've seen, Marcus is passive while Caius is aggressive. Aro is normally the deciding vote, his death left a void in the council."

"What I don't understand," Bella hissed, "is why did he choose a Cullen. We're a threat, we're the last family Aro would want on the throne."

Edward sighed in response, "Our last interaction with the Volturi has spread. Vampires consider the Volturi weak and have begun eyeing power, believing it wouldn't take much to unseat the Volturi. Aro's death is proof of the Volturi's vulnerability. We are the largest, most gifted, and most connected coven. "They are seeking to ally with us."

"The guards" Esme murmured.

"Were tied to Aro," Edward explained. "Aro made sure they were loyal to him foremost. Based on what I've heard, Chelsea didn't tie the guards strongly to Marcus and Caius.

The more I thought about it, the more I understood Aro's twisted logic. The Cullens were powerful. They were a threat to the Volturi. My ascension would ensure the Cullens would fall in line. Their fierce love and loyalty meant the Volturi not only gained me but also the entire Olympic coven as well. But why me?

I vocalized my thoughts, and it was Renesmee that replied.

'We're popular," Renesmee mused, "We have the strongest relationships with most vampire covens"

"But why not you?" I whined, "you're the responsible one."

She looked at me dryly, flicking her eyes to her promise ring. I paused. Damnit, Jacob.

I looked up to find Jasper and Edward exchanging meaningful looks.

"Uncle Jasper?"

Snapping out of their trance, Jasper looked at me. "Yes, Carlie?"

"What are you and Papa talking about?"

Edward interjected, "Nothing. Just some thoughts"

Jasper frowned, "Edward, she deserves to know"

I jutted my chin forward, "Yes, I do"

"Why must you take after your mother" Edward muttered. Bella rolled her eyes.

Jasper chose to spoke. If there was one thing I had to appreciate, it was Jasper's ability, to be honest, and direct. "It's possible that the Volturi doesn't plan on giving you any power. Marcus shouldn't bother you too much, but Caius will undermine you. At best, they'll keep you as a puppet." Grimacing, Jasper continued his analysis, "the guards may be loyal, but to what extent? We weren't popular our last meeting."

"But," I protested, "They're coming back in three days."

At this, Jasper pursed his lips in disapproval.

"Carlie, you can always reject the offer. It's dangerous."

Rosalie agreed with Jasper, choosing to weigh in. "You owe the Volturi nothing."

Indeed, I didn't owe them anything, and power grabs were dangerous

Although most of the Cullens agreed with Jasper's statement, I found myself looking at Edward, who hadn't weighed judgment. He understood how the Volturi worked. Most importantly, he understood me. He appeared resigned as if already knowing my decision.

* * *

He found me in our backyard, swinging on the swing set. He pushed me, seeing as I wasn't moving on the swing. I closed my eyes, knees bending when the swing came back down. There was much to think about, and much to discuss.

"Are you angry?"

"No"

"You're unhappy though"

"I want you to be safe"

I closed my eyes. "Staying home doesn't mean I'll be safe."

"It's safer than Italy"

I hummed in response, knowing I wouldn't win that conversation.

"Why do you want to leave?" He stopped the swing, and cradled my face, "your family is here. We adore you. Your sister is here, and she would be devastated-"

"She's leaving soon"

He frowned at that.

"She will be nearby"

"She has her own life to live, one that doesn't need constant interference from her family"

It was years in the making, but it was true. Renesmee was drifting away from the Cullens, finding solace in La Push with the werewolves and the rest of the imprints. She and Claire got along like a house on fire, something I was initially upset over before realizing their connection was something I could forge. That is unless a werewolf decided to imprint on me. The past few months Renesmee started learning interior designing and real estate with Esme. It was a subtle reminder that she and Jacob would start looking for their own house on La Push. It was too early for anything concrete to happen, but in a few years, Renesmee would have started her own family.

Edward was also painfully aware of this.

"You have your mother and me. You have your grandfather and grandmother. Your Aunts and Uncles. Why do you want to leave?"

"Because I want to live my own life" I mumbled, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life going to high school or college. I'm not Renesmee, I don't want to be a homemaker. I can't have a career because I don't age. What can I do with my life?"

"You could travel," Edward said, "Your Aunts wants to take you to fashion week in Milan. Carlisle says the hospital is looking for interns-"

"I want something substantial. I want somewhere to make my own place and to seize something with my own hands. I'm going, papa, because I want something more than this repetitive life."

At this, he fell silent. He didn't agree with what I said. In the end, he sighed, kissing the top of my head.

"Make sure to call us every day"

* * *

It's been one year since my crowning. Crime rate is down blood stores aplenty. Rebellious naysayers disposed of, and the rest of the vampire community silent on the matter. My reign is solidified. Some of my new policies included starting a vampire council comprised of vampires from large covens across the world. Nomads are welcome to drop-in, but most vampires chose to spectate in the audience.

The guards have also begun to recognize their leader is capable of taking care of herself.

Renata had died with Aro, so there were no guards gifted with defense. Subsequently, a bizarre guard rotation had formed. As a squishy half human, my 37 guards fretted over my fragility and decided unanimously I needed to be watched 24/7. I took this in stride, only stepping my foot down occasionally. The conversations normally went something like this:

"Master," Santiago pleaded.

I'm amused with his begging. "I fail to understand why I need two guards in my room watching me sleep."

"It's no issue," Felix grumbles, "we don't need to rest"

"What? No. That's not the issue here. The fact is, you will not station yourself in my room. Period."

The guards wilted and I felt a twinge of pity. "You can station yourself outside my room."

They perked up.

Ahh, compromise. Still, it's peaceful. Very peaceful, which was why I should have known the next vampire council meeting would be full of ridiculousness.

* * *

Tanya clears her throat. "Following up today's agenda, we would like to discuss Volturi's succession plans"

"To start with" one nameless representative from Japan said, "do you plan on having children?"

I stare down the council.

"And what is the council's purpose in inquiring this?" Caius asks scathingly.

"Has her highness chosen a father for her future children?"

Behind me, Felix and Demetri have turned to stone.

I look to Carlisle whose the representative for the Olympian coven. Raising an eyebrow, I silently ask my grandpa why he was onboard with this ridiculousness.

He smiles, face earnest and open.

I scowl.

Old man wants more great-grandchildren pitter-pattering around.

"And if I haven't?" I bite out.

"Allow the council to assist and select a potential father, especially as he will be involved in the caretaking of your children. Of course, the final candidate will be approved by your highness" Amun says gravely.

The brother and sister twins on the second floor flash their eyes flash ominously. I really hope they don't make a scene. It's tiring to have guards scrape vampire charcoal off the nice architecture.

"And why can't I simply nominate a successor?"

At this, Tanya voices her concern, "Bias, currying favor….a monarchy through bloodline is more favorable than one through nomination." Tanya is apologetic when she says this, clearly not as excited about the plan as the rest of the council.

In the end, Marcus was in favor of the council (the traitor) whereas Caius sneers at the council for their pathetic attempt at garnering power. It's a rare occasion for me and the sour-faced vampire to be on the side of a vote.

"I have heard the council's concerns, and will address the proposal in the future," I declare regally. 

Internally, I huff. _In the far distant future._

The guards agree vehemently.

* * *

The next few years went quickly. Social media and video cameras made secrecy much more difficult, something vampires did not understand. There were several close run-ins and too many YouTube videos. Luckily, the general public consensus was too much body glitter and the recent supernatural craze taking over popular culture. Still, guards were sent out to have a thorough "talk" with the offenders.

At some point, I find myself in La Push visiting my sister.

We're sitting on the porch drinking iced tea diluted with O negative, watching her spawn toddle across the lawn.

"Isn't it nice," Renesmee hums, "to be back home?"

I look over my expensive Prada sunglasses.

"My home is centuries old architecture in the country of sprawling art and culture"

My sister smiles knowingly, "Nice try, but Jacob will never want step foot in vampire capital for a vacation"

I wave this aside, "Since when do you need him to go with you? Grab your passport and the kid, we got plenty of rooms. If it's an issue, leave the kid behind." I pauses, trying to entice her, "Italian men are also very pretty."

Renesmee laughs, "I think I'll be okay."

I sigh. "Your loss."

We watch the kid pick grass and shove it into his mouth before spitting it out. The scene is so idyllic. I'm wondering how my sister's crazy life became so mundane.

"You're happy?" I asks.

"Yes"

"Huh"

She sighs. "It's not without troubles. Jacob stopped phasing and has started aging again. It's not an issue, but in a few years…"

In a few years, my sister will appear eighteen whereas Jacob would look like he's in his late twenties. Given another five, ten years, and their relationship would turn heads. In twenty, thirty years, people might seriously call the cops on Jacob. He'll probably start phasing again to stop the aging process, but at some point in forever, Renesmee would look a lot younger than Jacob, and that would just lead to all sorts of weird implications. Jacob would live longer than most, but he could very well stop phasing, age, and pass away one day.

Renesmee would live forever. Probably not alone. She'll have the the kids and the grandkids and maybe even find a new lover or two. She could also foster cats or something.

"I'm sorry," is the only I have to offer.

"Don't be, I'm happy. I have no regrets." Renesmee smiles, "if anything, you should consider finding someone to make you happy."

"I don't need someone to be happy."

"No," she agrees, "but it's nice to have someone."

Renesmee impishly adds, "I've seen the way your guard looks at you. You look at him the same way."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Carlie"

I throw my hands in the air, "it's weird, okay. It's wrong because of the power dynamic. They call me "Master" and that adds all sorts of difficult I don't want to deal with. What if it all goes FUBAR?"

My sister is unimpressed, "You have to try"

"There isn't a reset button."

"There shouldn't be one."

"Please stop. I'll think about it, okay?"

She considers this and nods. The subject matter is closed, and we continue watching the kid toddle and eat grass.

On Monday, I fly back to my city. Way too many guards greet me at the airport. I allow them to fuss over my bags and arrange the protection detail. By the time I get to the council room, I'm eager to sit in my heavily plushy throne. Immediately, Caius and Marcus start updating me on the crisis in Brazil.

It's good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should Carlie's title be Queen or King? I stuck with King, but Queen is the right gender noun. Still, King has the stronger connotation of power and royalty
> 
> I chose to omit who the mysterious guard was because it simply wasn't the point of the story. Carlie's the sort to be in major denial. Maybe I'll write another fic where Carlie does get with her mysterious guard. ^^
> 
> Well, what do you think? Do you have any ideas and prompts for me?


	2. Winter Moon (1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to all you wonderful readers and commenters that have made recommendations and suggestions. It's not quite what everyone wanted nor is is it the romance of the century, but it's somehow the one that got written. ^^  
> .

* * *

_In another universe where Alice still can't see werewolves and Edward's still irritated at Jacob, Carlie despairs over the state of canon._

* * *

Fanning myself with the pamphlet, I drooled over the unveiling of the latest Chanel collection. Thin models in towering heels strutted across the catwalk, displaying the latest Spring and Fall line proudly.

While Chloe was my favorite French fashion brand by far, I had to admit that Chanel was iconic for a good reason.

Normally, I would never subjugate myself to the frenzied hot mess that's Paris Fashion Week, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. Right now I'm wilting under the catty judgment of the Parsian audience floor. I knew I wasn't unfashionable because Alice picked out my outfit. Still, I felt like the country duckling who wandered into a party for swans.

 _For Aunt Rosalie,_ I reminded myself.

Since dropping out of college, I've been angsting around Europe.

In my defense, I had good reason to angst.

After an uncomfortable conversation with Jasper and Edward, I learned I had to "keep my head down" in college. This boiled down to no team sports, no student government, no leadership positions, no scholarship applications, and no research. Basically, I couldn't get involved in anything where my name, my work, and my face could be immortalized in digital history. The less impression the Cullens made, the better.

Trying to build a career was off limits, too. This meant my college experience was limited to attending class.

So really, what's the point of college?

Renesmee disagreed with me. She's all about learning for the sake of learning. I'm not on that bandwagon. I don't believe in that bandwagon.

When I started trudging to Linear Algebra class acting like I bore the weight of the cross on my shoulders, Edward exasperatedly tossed me the family's Black American Express Card.

"A long time ago, I also got really angry at your grandparents for telling me what I could and couldn't do. I took off, trying to find the meaning of life. Traveling was good for me, and it's probably good for you right now."

I took the card, cleaned out my dorm, and hopped on a flight to Norway.

Gratefully, the Cullens didn't hover.

I was doing okay this year until I received an unhappy phone call from Bella. Considering vampires had an eternity of birthdays in the future, I didn't think it was a big deal to show-up or call on Rosalie's birthday.

Apparently, I was wrong. After getting heavily chewed out by Bella for letting down my Aunt, I swore up and down to visit home with an appropriately groveling gift. As of right now, I'm on the next flight to Seattle where Edward would pick me up and haul me back to Forks.

And so this is the reason why I was stuck in Paris trying to pick out a gift for Rosalie. Hopefully, I'll find the right thing at the Chanel after-show auction. I honestly wished Alice could see my future so I could have finished this errand days ago.

Just as the parade of models are coming to a close, my phone buzzes.

It's Renesmee.

_HE SAID YES._

I type back enthusiastically, _Can I call you in an hour to talk about it?_

Renesmee instantly replies. _Of course!_

An hour later and several vicious bids later, I'm the proud owner of a limited-edition 1970's white leather Chanel bag. I'm quite proud of myself as I strut out the auction with my purchase.

Walking back to my hotel, I call my sister.

"Hey!" she answers, "can you believe it? Chad actually said yes. We're going on our first date this weekend!"

Honestly, I hope Chad doesn't work out. From what I heard, Chad sounded like a pretty uninspiring guy.

"Where are you guys going?" I ask.

"Oh," she says nervously, "I'm not sure yet. Maybe coffee? A dinner and a movie?"

"...are you planning this or is he?"

"Still figuring it out," she says, noncommittal.

Ugh.

Like I said, an uninspiring guy.

"Just don't agree to some version of Netflix and Chill in his room," I offer up, "That's lingo for wanting to get into your pants. Go somewhere public for sure. You should do some type of activity for the first date. Nothing sucks more than sitting awkwardly in a coffee shop for an hour struggling to say something."

"Okay, that sounds do-able. I've been getting conflicting tips from everyone."

Considering how small our circle is, I sincerely hope she didn't go to the Cullens for dating advice.

"Please tell me you didn't ask Mama or Papa."While Bella and Edward's love story was entertaining enough for the love-crazed millions, their dating decisions should not serve as anyone's dating guide.

"...I'm not crazy," she huffs.

I chuckle. "Ok, ok. Just checking."

Renesmee giggles, "I would never ask Mom and Dad for dating advice. I did talk to Jacob, though. He had some really helpful ideas."

I trip on a cobblestone. Really? She asked Jacob?

These past years, I've been proud of my sister's dating life. I think it's healthy and good that she's not bowing down to imprint expectations. Like, if she wants to explore her options, I'm a hundred percent all for that. Get your game on.

Still, asking the werewolf who imprinted on you for dating advice is weird. Cruel, even.

I'm struggling, trying to formulate an appropriate supportive response. "Uh, that's good. I'm glad he gave you some helpful advice, but don't you think it's a little insensitive?"

"How is it insensitive?" she asks, obviously confused.

"Uh. Well, consider his circumstances." I wince at my lame response. It's hard to talk about imprinting without using the words "imprint" and "soulmate"

For some reason, the Cullens never like to talk about the whole Jacob's imprinting incident. There's definitely a family awareness since Edward gets twitchy whenever he looks too long at Jacob. He flexes his hands often, as if willing away the desire to rip out Jacob's eyeballs. This happens a lot during Christmas. Most notably, whenever Edward spots Renesme's newly gifted "promise bracelet"

Still, no one actually acknowledges this imprinting business out loud. At the very least, it's never spoken about freely in front of Renesmee or me. If it weren't for my knowledge of the Twilight Universe, I probably wouldn't know anything about Jacob imprinting. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure if Renesmee even knows. I never bring it up. She never brings it up. Our family certainly never brings it up.

And this is the moment I realize that Renesmee probably has no idea she's the center of Jacob's universe. 

Oh god. Do I tell her? If it was my child, I would say nothing. Imagine that conversation: _Hey, daughter. Jacob here protected our family from being killed by enemy werewolves and an army of vampires because you're his soulmate. No pressure or anything, but you should know that you're the light of his life. Always & forever._

Talk about baggage. If it was my child, I would say absolutely nothing.

But as a sister, what should I do? Everyone knows Jacob imprinted on Renesmee. When I say everyone, I mean _everyone_. From our family to his family, from Sam's pack to the Volturi, everyone of supernatural note knows he imprintrd on her. She's probably the only person who doesn't know. As her sister, I have to tell her. She can't live her life with everyone knowing except her. This is about her. She has a right to know.

"Consider his circumstances," I begin, trying to approach this sensitive topic gently. "Ever since we were children, you guys have a special bond."

"-Of course we have a special bond," my sister interrupts, annoyed. "We grew up with him. Maybe it's not as special as your connection, but Jacob and I are doing ok."

I'm getting irritated with Renesmee interrupting me.

"Excuse me?" I hear myself say, "You guys have the most special relationship possible. _You're the one he imprinted on_."

Oh fudge-sickles, I wasn't supposed to blurt it out like that. People in the hotel lobby are starting to give me dirty looks for acting like the loud American. I flee to the eleveators. There must be a bad signal in the elevator because Renesmee's voice starts cutting in and out. When I step on my hotel floor, Renesmee's voice cuts back in.

"Carlie?" she calls out.

"Yeah, I'm here," I say, juggling the phone and the hotel key card at the same time. My hotel door light flashes a triumphant green. I enter my hotel room. Flopping on the recently made bed, I start pulling off my pumps.

My feet flex in delight.

"Carlie!" Renesmee says again, demanding my attention.

I let out a sigh. Clearly, it's time to start saying 'sorry' when Renesmee pulls out the angry Big Sister tone. "Okay, I'm sorry for dropping this bomb on you. I shouldn't be telling you this, but I feel very strongly that you have the right to know. It's not fair everyone's keeping this from you."

"Carlie," Renesmee repeats, voice urgent. She's breathing heavily into the phone now, struggling to get the next few words out.

"You don't understand. You-you got it all wrong. Jacob didn't imprint on me. _He imprinted on you_."

...

.

...

_What DAFQ?_

What kind of crack is she smoking in college?

My voice is strained when I say, "No, Renesmee, I think I would know if Jacob imprinted on me." And if there was anything memorable from _Breaking Dawn_ , it was the horrific moment Jacob imprinted on baby Renesmee and her warm Bella-chocolaty eyes.

Renesmee laughs, her voice hysterical.

Oh shit, she's having a mental breakdown.

"Look," I ground out, "it's obvious for several reasons. Ever since we were children, he's been hovering over you like some big protector. He's the one that held you and fed you. I don't even remember him picking me up. He took care of you while Aunt Rose took care of me. When we got older, he spent so much time hunting with you. For Christmas every year, he makes you a freakin' _promise bracelet_ . That's the Quileute way of saying he wants to marry you. You know Papa gets weird whenever he sees that bracelet. Also, you're on super good relations with Emily Young, Kim Cameron, and Rachel Black. They invite you to La Push for social gatherings all the time. Why would do they that? _I don't know, maybe it has something to do with that fact that you're all imprints of werewolves!"_

I finish my monologue with great triumph. "Well?" I ask.

"...you're delusional"

Ok, clearly this conversation isn't going well.

"Look," she says, "the reason why he didn't hold you was because Mom and Dad didn't want him touching you. _He imprinted on a baby._ They were uncomfortable and sensitive about him handling you. That's why Aunt Rose held and fed you. Mom and Dad understood that he needed to be near you, so they let him hang around. Aunt Rose got irritated at his aggressive nitpicking, so she had him look after me."

What on earth is she talking about?

She continues, "Jacob took me hunting because my sister, Carlie Cullen, wanted him to go with me. Whenever I asked you to go hunting with me, you'd say hunting was gross and offer up Jacob as your replacement. Jacob's so whipped he just did whatever you wanted.

I interrupt her, "But mom went with you guys as a chaperone"

"Mom went with us because Jacob was seventeen. We go hunting in the middle of nowhere. She's not going to trust a teenager with her baby toddler."

"And the promise bracelet?" I bring up, voice pitched high.

Really, how do you explain the promise bracelet?

"It's a friendship bracelet," she exasperatedly says, "remember the time we watched My Little Pony? After we watched an episode on friendship bracelets, I wanted to make them with you. You said that friendship bracelets were stupid, and you weren't going to make me one. I got mad, you got mean, and Mom put us on time-out. Jacob broke-up our fight by saying he'll make bracelets for me. It became our thing," she stresses, "We make friendship bracelets for each other as a gag gift. You know, Jacob wanted to make you one, but you told him you wanted wooden carvings and dream catchers. How do you not remember any of this?"

I remember. I remember the My Little Pony incident as me avoiding involvement in Renesmee and Jacob's creepy 'promise bracelet' exchange.

I tell her as such.

"Oh my god, Carlie. Jacob spends ten minutes braiding my gift. He spends months carving wood for you. Don't give me any crap about this. He spends more time and energy on your presents. That means something. Yes, Dad does gets weird about my bracelet. He gets weird because he starts thinking about the ring Jacob will give _you_ someday"

I drop my phone in horror.

Renesmee's voice blares from the speaker.

"Is this why you reject Emily Young's invitations? Did you think lunch was some code for a weird werewolf-imprinte brunch club _?_ "

Yes, I totally thought it was some club for werewolf imprints.

"This was Emily's way of extending the olive branch. She's trying to mend werewolf-vampire relations between our family and her husband's pack. So of course I have to be friendly with Claire and Emily. I'm the one representing the family while my sister flakes out. What did you think your invitation was? A pity invite?"

And for the first time during this entirely ludicrous conversation, I feel doubt and dread pooling in my lower stomach.

"Okay," I say, picking up the phone, "So maybe I got some facts wrong. But I think there's a big misunderstanding here. I would know if I'm someone's soulmate. Like, I would know. This is all just a very big misunderstanding."

"No, this is not a misunderstanding. Ask our parents. Or better yet, talk to Jacob. Because as of right now, if you want to talk about this, you're going to have to find someone else."

"Wait. No, Nessie, hear me out-"

The phone disconnects.

In my empty hotel room, I look at my phone stunned. Laughing nervously, I hastily type out a text.

_I'm sorry, Renesmee, but you got this all mixed up._

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHAHA. Please tell me I surprised you. Was it a good build-up? 
> 
> I'm not sure if I should add Jacob/OC tags because I want it to be a surprise...
> 
> Many people comment on the shady nature of Jacob's imprint and are upset I chose to keep it in QS. I do agree that it is grooming. It is weird. In BD, Bella/Edward seem a little too accepting of Jacob imprinting on their daughter. This is me trying to write a reasonable and coherent method of dealing with this whole mess. At the end of the day, the Cullens did good keeping Carlie in the dark. Granted, Carlie was so in the dark she couldn't see what was right in front of her...
> 
> I wrote this because a lot of people recommended a werewolf imprinting on Carlie. Seth+Carlie, Embry+ Carlie were by far the most popular requests. Somehow, my brain took the imprinting idea and ran all the way here.


	3. Winter Moon (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm riding this train and I can't get off.  
> .

* * *

_In which Carlie gets 'the talk'_

* * *

Contrary to expectation, I didn't immediately pick up the phone and dial Jacob.

If there was anything I learned from the Cullens, it was that knee-jerk reactions led to needless drama and near-almost-suicides.

Instead, I distracted myself.

First, I tried following a YouTube make-up tutorial. "Instagram Makeup-Flower that Blooms at Night" left me staring in the small bathroom mirror trying to figure out the protrusion of my eye. Apparently, if I wanted a more natural look, and I did, then I had to slide my eye brush in a circular motion from the eye protrusion to the nose bridge. I got stuck for a good twenty minutes comparing the brown eyeshadow I had to the eyeshadow the youtuber used. Matching shades of brown to "cold ash brown shimmery shadow" is harder than it looks.

With makeup comes styling my hair.

And matching clothes.

And painting nails.

Then it just seems weird to be all dolled-up in an empty hotel room.

I book it outside the hotel, intent on grinding the fashion axe. Alice had a good rule of thumb for what to do in situations like this. In Paris, always go shopping.

When shopping wasn't enough, I went bar-hopping.

Of course, collapsing into bed plastered and awakening three hours before my flight meant I had to furiously scramble to pack my garbage, wash off my unflowery face, check-out the hotel, and hail a cab.

It's easy to keep busy when there's a lot to do.

At the airport I went through the usual motions. Gotta check-in, go through security, check-in the first-class lounge, text the family, eat lunch, check out the Duty-Free stores, visit the bathroom, check the departure board, wait for boarding, wait to get on the plane, wait for the line to move, wait to store my luggage, and wait for the goddamn plane to take off.

I do all of this.

I'm not going to let myself think. _I will not think._ I'll just do what needs to be done.

But when all of the above is accomplished and I'm cruising at ten thousand feet, I have to face reality.

And the reality is this:

It takes nine and a half hours to fly from Charles De Gaulle Airport to Sea-Tac.

That's a long time to do nothing.

* * *

Sea-Tac is a weird airport. There's no reception area, no designated area for guests to wait. People flying into Seattle exit the airport by escalators. You went from the arrival terminal straight down to baggage claim. Sometimes you wind up at carousel 24, and sometimes it's carousel 10. For those picking up new arrivals, it's a hassle figuring out which escalator they'll descend from.

Alice probably told Edward my baggage carousel. I found him there. As usual, Edward appears as pale model with amber contact-lenses. People are discreetly checking him out, wondering if they should go up to him. Edward ignores their whispering.

At the sight of my dark circles, Edward frowns.

"Carlie," he says disapprovingly, "you should have slept on the plane."

Yeah, like I could sleep.

"I couldn't fall asleep," I offer. I give him a believable excuse. "I'm a little nervous at seeing everyone."

Edward gives me a smile. "They're your family. There's no need to be nervous."

I give him a crooked smile, his smile, back.

After fetching my many suitcases, Edward and I headed to the parking garage. I stumble, dead tired, through the airport. I don't even remember walking across the skybridge.

I think I was mostly asleep, though I was still walking, when we reached the parking lot. Edward had been quiet and relaxed on our walk until we got off the elevator. His entire body stiffened and his knuckles strained over the airport cart.

At the sight of Edward on edge, my tiredness fades. Was it the Volturi? Did they send someone to ambush us, caught off guard?

That was when I saw him. He was hard to miss, towering over everyone the way he did.

The surprise of seeing Jacob leaning against our silver volvo under the dim lights of the parking garage revived me completely.

Edward glowered at the ridiculously buff werewolf.

We had stopped a few yards away from Jacob, and I could tell that Edward was uncomfortable having me so close to the werewolf. He drew his hand back slightly, pulling me halfway behind his body.

"You could have called," Edward said in a steel-hard voice.

"Sorry," Jacob answered, his face twisting apologetically. "I was in the neighborhood, thought I should stop by. Say hi."

"This is hardly the place to be, Jacob. You could have met us in Forks."

Jacob's jaw flexes. "Yeah, I know. I wanted to make sure Carlie got back okay. Renesmee called."

See, its words like those which fuel my belief that Jacob imprinted on Renesmee.

Edward continues to glower at Jacob. I hope he's not going to start a brawl in the middle of the parking look. I'm tired. I want to get in the car and go home.

"Please, papa." I said.

Edward huffed and pushed the cart toward the Volvo.

Jacob helped with the luggage without speaking as Edward pushed the cart to the cart collection center. I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep my silence anymore, and I turned to address Jacob.

"It's good to see you," I offer politely.

He smiles back, face open and earnest. "Yeah, it's been a while. Welcome back home."

"Thanks. Are you riding back with us?" Because I would really like to prepare myself for that car ride.

With mutual understanding, we both turn to look at Edward. The vampire in question shakes his head discreetly and Jacob sighs.

"Sorry," I mumble, wincing at my half-hearted tone.

Jacob smiles at me, a small sad thing. "It's cool, I have to take the bike back anyway. It's been good seeing you. Text me when you get a chance. We should catch up "

Jacob climbs onto the black motorcycle parked in front of the volvo. The engine snarls, the tire squeaks, and Jacob pulls out of the parking lot.

Vividly conscious of Edward, I sneak a peek at his face. His expression was calm, patient, as if nothing of significance occurred. He opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in, shutting it softly behind me. I watched him walk around the front of the car, trying to decipher his face.

Once inside the car, he started the engine and turned on the air conditioner. Despite my vampire hybrid nature, car heaters make me nauseous. I prefer sitting in the freezing cold and Edward remembers my weird habits. He adjusts the car for my comfort.

When the car pulls through the parking garage and onto the I-5, I take an even breath.

It's time to have the talk.

"So, what was that all about?"

Edward doesn't even bother looking at me. "Don't worry about it," he comments, voice even.

I stare blankly at the road, trying to find the words since Edward wasn't going to be forthcoming.

"I have a theory," I offer, trying to shift conversation in the right direction.

Edward barks out a laugh.

"Your mother used to say something similar. When we first met, she had all these theories that I was some genetically engineered superhero."

"Well, Mama did get it right eventually." I point out.

"Yes, she did."

Edward grins, amused. "Tell me this theory of yours"

I hesitate.

"I won't laugh," he promises.

"I'm more afraid that you'll lie to me."

"I won't do that"

"You do," I correct, "you lie when you think it protects people."

Edward's silent. I focus on getting my next words out.

"Renesmee called me to talk about her date with Chad. We were discussing first-date activities." I turn to look at his face, and Edward looks genuinely puzzled. Renesmee must have not told him about our conversation. Bless you, sister.

"She said she asked Jacob for advice, and I was weirded out because I thought…" I stopped.

"You thought?" Edward probed.

"I thought he imprinted on her." I realized my body was turned completely away from him. I didn't want to look at his face. I didn't want to see his reaction.

"And what did she say?" His voice was eerily calm.

"She said he didn't."

I glance to the left. Edward's face was rigid, stony. His eyes were fierce, drilling holes up ahead. Maybe it was my imagination, but the wheel itself was looking a little dented.

"Papa, she said he imprinted on me. That's not true, right?" My voice was taking a pleading edge, begging for reassurance that Renesmee was wrong. I was right. I had to be right.

"It doesn't matter," he comments darkly, "it doesn't matter who Jacob imprinted on. It doesn't matter if he dies."

No, Edward, no. You cannot do this to me. You cannot leave me dangling.

"It's either me or Renesmee," I huff out, We'll find out eventually. I'll ask one of the wolves to tell me."

Edward snarls. "They won't. They have no right. Jacob has no right. You were just a baby when he-" Edward breaks off and lets out a noise of inarticulable rage.

Oh my god.

This can't be happening.

"Carlie, listen to me-"

"No"

"This doesn't matter. Forget about this conversation-"

"Not happening"

"Carlie, you don't owe him anything. You don't have to do anything with this information. Your Mom and I were never going to tell you, and frankly, I'm disappointed with your sister-"

"Papa! You were never going to tell me?"

" _It's not important, Carlie."_

"Yes," I shriek, "it is very important! Up until yesterday I have believed my entire life thinking that Jacob imprinted on Renesmee when we were babies. I have spent my childhood bullying Jacob and purposefully making his life difficult. I gave him the shovel talk. I told him that if he ever messed with Renesnee, I'd leave his body rotting in the woods somewhere. I cannot believe no one said anything!"

"To be fair," Edward countered, "we thought you were being overly protective of my sister. We had no idea you thought Jacob imprinted on Renesmee"

I take a deep breath.

"I'm going to meet Jacob. We need to try and figure this out."

I look at Edward, determinedly. His expression was pained.

"Ah," he groaned, "This is why we didn't tell you."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see? You feel responsible for what happened. You say you want to figure it out, but that's not what you plan on doing. You plan on catering to his needs and desires. You plan on trying to make him happy. Your Mom and I don't want you to feel this way." His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me, because it's how I used to feel about Jacob and Renesmee. "It's wrong. It's not safe. He's too old and he's dangerous, Carlie — please, think about that."

"No." I try very hard to not sound like a sulking child.

"Carlie," he growled.

"It's my life, it's my decision. And it's not the end of the world if I end up dating Jacob."

His head snapped towards me, "Don't say that."

I stare out at the road. We were almost home because of his insane breakneck driving.

"I just don't understand how you can be so foolish," he comments. His tone sounds so disappointed, so resigned, and utterly done with me. No one likes it when their dad gets angry quiet at them.

"Are you crying?" he asks incredulously. I use my hand to wipe my face.

"No," I sniff.

Edward reached out towards me and squeezed my left hand. "Your Mom and I love you. We just want you to be happy."

I don't know what to say to that.

"So, explain something to me," he asked after a bout of silence. He sounded like he was trying to act upbeat.

"Hmn?"

"What made you think it was Renesmee?"

"Oh, I guess it's because he spent a lot of time with her. He also looks at her like she's something special, like a blind man staring at the sun for the first time." I reference the book, the most accurate description of how I thought Jacob looked at Renesmee.

"No," Edward comments quietly, "that's how he looks at you."

Well, now I feel even worse.

After a few hours, we were in front of the Cullen house. The inside lights were on, and I could see the shadows of my family waiting inside, anticipating our arrival. Edward parked the car, but didn't move from his seat.

"Let me tell everyone," he requests.

I'm quick to agree because I don't want to handle that conversation. "Can you wait? I want everyone to act normally. Don't tell them today," I plead.

"Of course." Edward soothes.

I step out of the car, breathing in the scent of moss and Evergreens.

Time to put my chill face on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who flies to Seattle frequently, I have very strong opinions and memories about the airport. I got really determined to write accurately about the airport, hmn.
> 
> Poor Carlie and Edward, struggling to act sanely. Jacob and Edward use the same lines in Twilight on Bella, and now they are trying to reason with Carlie. It's not working though...


	4. Our parents are doing what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be funny, but then it became something else. I feel like this piece is a little sad, a little serious, and a little OOC. I started writing this as a humorous examination of Bella/Edward having a mid-life crisis with some hot gardener, but it ended up examining a lot of the problems in their relationship. Like, after all the fire and brimstone and after all the baby birds leave the nest, you have to just live with the other person. And sometimes you realize you can't.

* * *

_Sometimes you fall out of love because you fell in love with who you thought they were and not who they really are._

_And you-you loved me because I'm fragile._

* * *

It's December at the University of Washington-Seattle. Right now, Renesmee and I are trying to pick out what constitutes food in the student cafeteria known as "Local Point." I have nothing against a University that boasts that they "source locally" with "wholesome" fresh fruits and vegetables, but I do have a thing against charging $12 a plate for lukewarm food cooked by student chefs.

"How about the Asian fusion stir-fry," Renesmee points out, squinting at the vegetables generously covered in yellow-mustard curry sauce.

"That looks like vomit," I comment unhelpfully.

My sister scowls, but she must see the similarities because she walks away from that particular food vendor.

I check-out the plates of students who are already sitting down and eating. None of their meals look remotely appetizing. As usual, it seems like the best option is the Italian station and their freshly baked pizzas. $3.5 for a slice, a highway robbery for pizza, but one of the cheapest options here.

Renesmee confronts me at the pizza station, cutting in line. The students behind me start scowling, but don't actively protest. Seattle breeds non-confrontational pansies when it comes to line-cutting.

"Pizza again?" Renesmee grimaces, "We both agreed to try and eat healthy. Freshman fifteen is a real thing."

" _You_ said we were going to eat healthy. I, on the other hand, am saving myself from food poisoning."

Indeed, the rest of the options were absolutely horrifying.

"Get a salad at least"

"I'm okay dying fat and happy"

Reensmee rolls her eyes.

When we reach the front of the line, Renesme picks out a small caesar salad and a slice of mushroom-pepper pizza. I scoff at her attempts to eat healthy. When eating white bread layered with cheese, a few slices of vegetables aren't going to save you from heart disease. If you're going to splurge on pizza, get what you really want.

When it's my turn, I get the meat lover's pizza with extra cheese.

_Mhhm, come to daddy._

As Renesmeee gives the cashier her student card, I turn to the utensils station. "I'm going to get some chilli flakes. Do you want me to grab a knife and fork for your pizza?"

"Yeah, thanks. Grab some extra napkins, too"

I raise my hand in acknowledgement. At the station, I grab the utensils and shower my pizza with spicy chili flakes.

Ever since Renesmee saw some international students eating pizza with a fork and knife, she's been on that particular bandwagon ever since. _It's refined,_ she insists, _less savage._ My sister doesn't like anything that leaves a mess over her mouth. It's one of the reasons why she hates hunting for blood. So however weird it is to eat pizza with a knife and a fork, it's not an argument I want to start with her.

When I finish getting all the stuff, I find Renesmee sitting in the back of the cafeteria on some grey couches.

Renesmee's face is scrunched in confusion when I approach her.

"Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice are here," she says.

I sit down across from her, "Like, in Seattle?"

"No, like here here. They're in the U-district right now, trying to find parking. After they park the car, they're coming here to find us."

"Did they say why?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know, they didn't say. Aunt Rosalie sounded angry, though."

Rosalie is vicious and snobby, but she always made a point to be kind to her beloved and precious nieces.

"Ok. This sounds bad."

"I'm sure it's nothing horrible," Renesmee brushes off, "If it was an emergency, they would just tell us to pack up and leave."

"It's still a bad sign," I point out, "them showing up with no explanation and warning"

Renesmee scowls at my pessimism, "just eat your pizza."

I shrug and start chowing down my delectably fatty dinner. As usual, it's pretty amazing. Renesmee starts her process of cutting her pizza into tiny bird-size bites. Some boys sitting on the couch next to us are pointing and laughing at Renesmee's antics.

I glare at them darkly. _Mind your own business_.

They're laughing until suddenly they're not. With little fanfare, their faces suddenly go slack in shock and their mouths fall open. A little drool starts spilling out.

Well, it looks like Aunt Rose has arrived.

Sure enough, I turn in my seat to see Rosalie and Alice. Rosalie, as usual, looks like a Blonde Goddess. She's absolutely devastating in high-waisted skinny jeans and a sky-blue wrap top. Her blonde sweeps across her face in beachy waves, framing her face like a seductive VS model.

Honestly, it's a wonder Renesmee and I didn't grow up with inferiority complexes hanging around someone as hot as Rosalie.

The female vampire in question flashes a dimpled smile. It's directed at the boys sitting next to us.

"Hello," her voice chimes out, "do you mind if I have these seats?"

"S-sure, no problem," one of the boys chokes out. Still, they don't move, choosing to stare at Rosalie in fascination. When Rosalie lifts an imperious eyebrow, the boys sputter and start piling all their trash onto their trays before evacuating the cafeteria table.

"Holy crap, she's so hot," one of them mutters under their breath.

Another groans miserably, "I should go back and ask for her number."

"Yeah right, like she'd give it to you."

"Shut up"

Their voices trail off and Rosalie flips her hair in satisfaction. Alice laughs, voice tinkling in amusement. Both of them sit down gracefully in the recently evacuated seats. Rosalie crosses her legs, her shapely body forming an attractive S-shape figure.

"It's good to see you girls. How's college going?"

"It's been okay so far," Renesmee offers tentatively. "We're happy to see you, but is something wrong? You sounded upset over the phone."

Alice and Rosalie both grimace.

"We have some bad news," Alice says softly.

"Did someone die?" I cut in, "Is grandpa sick? It's not the Volturi right?"

Alice shakes her head in dismissal. "No no, nothing like that. No one is dead or dying. And the Volturi is not involved this time."

Rosalie snorts and Alice shoots her a disapproving look.

"It's your parents" she says.

"Dad sounded fine yesterday when we called him," Renesmee comments slowly.

Alice sighs heavily. "Of course he didn't mention anything. They're so badly in denial. But it's already been a few months, and this thing isn't resolving itself any time soon. You'll find out eventually."

'Find out what?" Renesmee presses.

"Your parents are getting a divorce." Rosalie says matter-of-factly, her mouth tightening into a hard line.

Renesmee and I burst into laughter.

There is no way Edward and Bella are getting a divorce. They're one of those insufferable couples that makes everyone uncomfortable in their proximity. It's just like how Renee once described. Edward and Bella act as two planetary bodies that orbit each other, completely drawn into each other's gravity. When Edward moves, Bella moves with him.

Renesmee and I had the unfortunate experience of attending high school with them. It's an experience to go to high school with your parents around. Some of my friends had parents who taught at our school. They said it's a little weird, but they assured me that they can ha e a positive high-school experience with their parents hovering around.

However, I argue it's another thing entirely to watch your parents flirt in class, recite poetry to each other, and issue ridiculous prom proposals.

I still remember when Edward opened his locker and a bunch of balloons flew out. Bella appeared with a basket of red apples asking Edward to go to prom with her.

He said yes with fervent ardour.

As the student spectators clapped, Renesmee and I were busy gagging in the audience.

Our parents are ridiculously _extra._

"There's no way," Renesmee giggles, "Dad says that they're on vacation right now. It's their anniversary and apparently Alaska is gorgeous this time of year."

"Technically," Alice says neutrally, "that's true. They are on a romantic vacation. Only, they're on _separate_ vacations."

Renesmee and I exchange looks.

"We don't get it," I voice out.

Alice opens her mouth to explain, but Rosalie cuts in before she gets a chance.

"Basically, your Aunt is trying to say that your mother has taken an Italian lover and has run off with him. Your father, absolutely devastated, has started sleeping his way through all the female vampires he can get his hands on. Right now, he's holed up with Tanya in Alaska somewhere."

I choke on my pizza.

_What?_

Alice is scowling fiercely. "Rosalie, I was trying to break this news gently."

"Well, you weren't getting very far," Rosalie sniffs.

Across from me, Renesmee is furious. Her metal fork is snapped in half. "Mom did _what?_ "

"It's not that big of a surprise," Rosalie comments blithely, "your mother's always been a selfish-"

"Okay!" Alice interrupts, "no need for that."

Rosalie frowns, but snaps her mouth shut. Alice takes a deep breath before starting up again.

"Right now, your parents are going through a rough patch. We thought this was going to be fixed quickly, so we didn't say anything sooner. However, it's been several months, and I don't see this being resolved any time soon." And coming from Alice, her not "seeing" bodes serious implications for the future. "Both of you are coming home during winter break and your parents plan on bringing their new lovers home. Your Aunt Rose and I agreed that you deserve a good heads-up."

That's some heads-up. Me and Renesmee are driving home in _three days_. Still, I appreciate them dropping the news after we finished our final exams for the quarter.

I fold my arms, disgruntled. "Can we not go home this year? Renesmee and I can stay in the dorms."

"Carlie," Rosalie stays sternly, "your family wants to see the two of you. Your grandma has been trolling William & Sonoma for weeks trying to decorate the house. She even started attending fancy cooking classes to make the two of you a full Christmas spread. Carlisle has already requested time off from the hospital. _You will come home for Christmas._ "

"I also want to see Jacob," Renesmee adds unhelpfully.

I throw my hands in the air. "Fine fine, we're going home for Christmas. I just don't understand how this could have happened"

"Believe me," Alice says darkly, "I did not anticipate this happening either. But it is happening, and everyone needs to get on board with the program."

Renesmee scowls angrily and touches my forearm.

_We are so calling Mom tonight._

* * *

To Bella's credit, she didn't deny anything.

"Who told you? It was your Aunt Rose, wasn't it? I thought we got past all this unpleasantness after I gave birth, but she's always going to be a vindictive harpy toward me."

Sitting across from me, Renesmee's cheeks pulsate in anger.

I shoot her a look. _Chill._

"Well, mama, we were going to find out eventually." I offer placatingly.

"I know, but I wanted to be the one to tell you tow. Unfortunately, there was never a good time," Bella says, her voice colored in frustration.

I lie on my twin-sized bed, trying to get comfortable. "What happened? I thought you and papa were happy."

There's a noticeable pause.

"Is your sister nearby?"

I look at Renesmee and the sister in question shoots me a harsh glare.

_I want to hear this._

"No," I lied. Unlike Bella, I'm a pretty convincing liar.

"That's good," she sighs in relief.

My relationship with Bella is akin to her relationship with her own mother, Renée. I don't idolize Bella, I don't put her on a pedestal. When I was growing up, I chose to rely on myself. When frustrated or bored, I sought out one of my many Aunts and Uncles.

But for Renesmee, she did idolize Bella and put her on a pedestal. For every little thing problem, she went to Bella for advice. Up until now, she's adored Bella to an unerring degree.

Obviously, Bella is currently trying to preserve her image as an respectable maternal figure.

As for me, I've never seen her as like that. For the two of us, we've taken on a daughter-mother relationship more akin to each other's confidants.

"I spent a long time thinking about this," my mother says quietly. "Surprsingly enough, your father and I never really spent quality time with each other. Our relationship was built on a continuous series of crises. There was always something happening one after another. Even after our marriage, we spent very little alone time together. After the Volturi came and left, our coven made the decision to all live together as one large family. Your aunts, uncles and grandparents enjoyed the years watching and taking care of you two. So once the two of you moved out, the entire family scattered quickly as well." Bella takes a deep breath, "And so for the first time in years, your father and I were alone with just each other for company. We had nothing but time and space on our hands."

"We tried," she insists frantically, "we tried so hard to be happy together. We picked up hobbies together, we went on trips, we tried new ways to make love, but nothing worked. It was just-just _not enough_."

I let out a noise of understanding.

"When it all became too much, I went to travel by myself. I felt like I needed some time alone, some space to be by myself, so when I returned home I could fully appreciate your father and the wonderful life we built together."

"But that didn't happen. You met someone," I commented.

"Yes," she says softly, "I met someone else."

"Is he a human or a vampire?"

"He's a vampire."

"Do we know him?"

I'm curious whether this vampire knows what kind of crap he's getting into.

At this, Bella gets all quiet before stuttering out.

"His name is Felix. He used to part of the Volturi guard, but he's left the guard since we've gotten together."

.

Renesmee moves both hands to her lips, trying to prevent any noise leaving her mouth. I throw her a pillow, and she buries her face into it, smothering her screams of frustration.

I wanted to say _didn't he try to kill you and our family_ but it's obvious that wasn't what Bella wanted to hear. She probably already got that entire spiel from someone else.

.

"Is he your mate?" I ask bluntly.

"I think so," she admits, embarrassed. "We've ran into each other a few times before, but it wasn't until we spent one-on-one time together did we recognize something more was there. When we bumped into each other in Europe, he insisted on following me around to make sure I didn't cause any trouble for the Volturi. Given our history, I was irritated and angry at him for stalking me. But by the time we reached Verona, he was able to charm me completely." She laughs, "He even convinced me to sneak into the Romeo and Juliet museum at night. It was so exhilarating. I've never done anything like that before. It was during that night I realized I laughed more with Felix than I'd ever laughed before. I love your father, but he's always so serious, so perfect."

Bella's voice takes on a more urgent tone."You know, I never realized how often your father makes decisions on my behalf. I always assumed he knew what was best. It wasn't until I met Felix did I realize your father rarely treats me like an equal. He always takes what I say with a grain of salt and does whatever he wants instead. Felix is different. Felix always asks what I wants and _listens._ And the sex, god, the sex is so incredibly amazing and _filthy-_ -"

I tune this part out. I get that Edward has a lot of character flaws. Bella is on point with most of her criticisms, but I _do not_ need to hear about her sex life.

"-so long as you're happy and he's not trying to take advantage of you, I support your decision, mama."

Because really, what else was there to say?

Renesmee starts hitting me with the pillow. _HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT HER CHEATING?!_

I smack the pillow away. _Stop it, I'm on the phone._

Blessedly, Renesmee stops and makes silent angry faces at me.

" _Thank you,"_ Bella says gratefully, "You know I can't talk about this with anyone else. Everyone is on your dad's side and is absolutely furious with me."

"Well," I comment idly, "considering that Papa started shacking up with Tanya, I think everyone is going to get over the separation sooner or later."

" _He's doing what?"_ Bella snarls.

Oh, fudge-sickles. I thought she knew.

"Um," I stutter out, looking to Renesmee for help. My sister just shrugs. Y _ou got yourself into this mess_.

Thanks, sis, really helpful.

"Papa is in Alaska with the Denalis," I state, trying to deemphasize the part where he's with Tanya in an isolated cabin in the woods banging his heart out.

"I knew it," Bella hisses, "I knew that blond skank was just waiting to sink her hooks into him. Your father said he was never into her, but I always knew that was a lie. Is he bringing her home for Christmas?"

_Okayyy it's time to hang up now._

"I have no idea if papa is bringing Tanya back for Christmas. Mama, I love you, but I have to go now. I have a few errands I need to run," I blurt out.

"Oh, alright. I'll see you in a few days," she huffs out.

I mumble out some more pleasantries before hanging up the phone.

Renesmee flops onto the bed, lying close to me. Our heads bump into each other. "Christmas is going to suck this year," she comments.

"We don't have to go back home" I offer up, "I'm totally fine with staying here."

Renesmee scowls and smacks me again with the pillow.

Yeah, I guess I deserved that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream is that Bella + Edward are mates and true soulmates. This is obviously not that dream.
> 
> This story is an examination that they are not mates. They do not love each other for who the other person really is. When they first met, they were more interested and fascinated with figuring each other out. However with recklessness and a series of bad decisions, they ended up choosing to get married, thinking that it would solve a lot their problems. Flash forward to when they actually live with just the other person, they realize their marriage is not working out.
> 
> So the original plan was for Bella to fall into bed with Felix. He's a big and buff vampire that likes to flirt and wink at her all the time. After years of a dull and boring marriage, Bella is incredibly flattered by the male attention and wants to tap that. Likewise, she finds out she really likes Felix and then decides to keep sleeping with him. Edward is thrown in a crisis because he thought he loved Bella, but isn't too hung up about her cheating. (Remember when he offered Jacob as a stud-muffin to impregnante Bella?) Even though for years he thought marriage+sex are exclusive, Edward decides to throw all of that out the window and go get all the sinful adulterous sex because he's clearly going to hell anyway.
> 
> I tried to make this funny, but I think it just wound up a little sad. *cry*
> 
> Questions for readers: Do you think this is a believable and logical AU? Is it funny/humorous or is it just sad? I hope this isn't too boring...what other AU spin-offs would you all like to read?


	5. Grandma Aro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to write something less sad, more humorous, and sweet. Hopefully succeeded :)  
> .

* * *

_The one where Aro is a nosy invasive grandmother_

* * *

Body pressed against bodies, face tilted to the flashing lights, I was soaking in the rhythmic ba-dumps of hearts and base beats. It felt good to get out and let loose. While I couldn't ever get drunk because of hybrid metabolism, I could lose myself to the adrenaline of dancing. There's something about being pressed against strangers, breathing in the musty smoky air, and scantily-clad visuals that I enjoy.

Emma, one of my friends dancing close to me, leans meaningfully against my shoulder.

"There's a cute boy checking you out," she mutters into my ear. Her eyes flicker to our left and back quickly.

I hummed, moving my hands over my head before turning to look at this "cute boy"

Broad frames, bulging biceps, and long legs caught my attention first. The short messy black hair was tousled back carelessly. Similar to the other males in the club, this guy wore a dangling silver necklace over a form fitting black t-shirt. He had a dark, almost edgy aura about him. His broad shoulders and strong arms promised a not-so-nice girl like me a really good time.

None of that distracted me from the fact that he had red burgundy eyes.

_Vampire._

He had a teasing smirk on his face, beckoning me to join him at the bar.

My mind was racing in thought. A vampire was in the middle of a club watching people get inebriated. This was probably his feeding ground. It wouldn't be too suspicious if one or two club goers separated from their friends and didn't show up the next day.

I scowl.

_I'm onto you and your game._

"Be right back," I call out to Emma.

She giggles, excited at the idea of me getting some action, "Don't worry, I'll be here. Take your time."

_Ugh, Emma, you have no idea. I'm taking one for the team._

After making my way through all the grinding bodies, I sit next to the vampire.

At my appearance, he flashes me a wide grin. "It's been some time, Cullen. You grew up _real_ good," he leers, eyeing my cleavage appreciativily.

I scowl and cross my arms over my chest. "Who are you?"

"I can't believe you don't remember me," he pouts. "I'm quite memorable, you know. I'm one of Aro's favorite guards"

Automatically, I recoil away from him.

"You're from the Volturi."

A short time ago, I made a deal with Aro to leave me and the Cullens alone. Every few months I visited Volterra to deliver and steal gifts for him. It wasn't a good arrangement, but it was the best arrangement at the time to negotiate for peace without going to war.

"Why are you here? I'm not due back in Volterra for another few weeks."

"I'm here for pleasure, not for business."

"As my friends are here, I'd appreciate it if you feed elsewhere," I bite out, injecting a warning into my voice.

He seems bemused at my words. His well-sculpted body leaned toward me despite my obvious attempt to keep space between us.

"I already ate," he says, voice pitched low. He leers at me meaningfully, "I'm here for something much more interesting."

At his intense burgundy eyes checking me out, I spluttered in shock.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Is it working?" he purrs out.

"Uwahgh."

_Brain rebooting, one moment please._

"Thank you," I manage to stutter out, trying to avoid antagonizing the hulking beast of a vampire. "I'm flattered, really. It's just, well, you're not really my type."

He frowns.

"Oh? What's your type, then?"

I gesture to his hulking frame. "Someone a little less _intimidating_."

He scoffs. "I'm intimidating? This is coming from the girl who runs around stealing gifts. Do you know how many guards piss themselves in fear whenever you're around?"

"Not the same," I protest. "Your muscles are _physically_ intimidating."

At this, he seems pleased. "Yes, they aren't for everyone." He looks at Emma, who is shamelessly watching our entire interaction so far. "Think she's into my muscles?"

Yes, one hundred percent, yes. My darling friend Emma watches live football for the sake of ogling nice shoulders and would eagerly climb the vampire mountain of a man any day.

"No." I lied.

"Too bad," he murmurs, looking at Emma consideringly before winking at her.

"Don't." I ground out.

"Hmm. I can take a hint, I know when I'm not wanted," he says, standing up in one fluid motion. "It was good to see you."

"Yes, you as well," I demurred.

The vampire soon disappeared into the crush of writhing bodies and Emma appeared by my side instantly. "Really, Carlie? He was so into you and super cute. How could you not tap that?" she babbled.

Shrugging, I called the bartender for two more shots of tequila.

"The night's still young," I soothed, "plenty of more fish in the sea."

She looks at me dubiously. "They don't make them like that everywhere."

"No," I agreed, because vampires were one of a kind in terms of beauty and allure. "But I got an off feeling about him. I felt like if I left with him, my body would end up in a ditch tomorrow."

Emma frowned. "Well then it's good you didn't leave with him. Always trust your instincts," she instructed. At my nod of encouragement, she took one of the tequila shots the bartender brought over. We clink our glasses together before downing them.

I bit into the accompanying lime, letting the gush of sour tartness flood my mouth. Emma was right, I mused. When it comes to men and dating, trusting one's instincts was essential.

And my instincts were telling me something about this entire interaction was off.

.

* * *

.

It all came to a head when Demetri showed up at my favorite coffee shop.

One of my weaknesses was a good flavored latte, and I had the bad habit of spending $5 on drinks every day. Trying to justify my purchase, I like to camp out in the cafe with my computer for a few hours.

This was where Demetri chose to ambush me.

He slid into the seat across from me, his smooth voice intoning, "Good afternoon."

I sneered at him, not even bothering to look up from my computer.

"I'm busy. I can't go on whatever gift stealing adventure Aro wants this time."

Demetri and I have a weird complicated working relationship. Aro paired the two of us together to go and scout-out gifts he wanted. Demetri had the tracking skills and I had the stealing skills.

Despite our close working relations, it's obvious we weren't going to become BFF's anytime soon. Since becoming close with the Egyptian coven, I learned all about Demetri and his shitty-backstabbing ways. He was turned and trained by Amun for his tracking abilities. After thoroughly sucking all of Amun's resources and time, Demetri hopped on a one-way trip to Italy and never looked back. It was self-preservation to leave the Egyptian coven, but it was shitty move nonetheless.

"Aro has no assignments for us," Demetri drawled out.

"Then why are you here?"

"I hear the coffee here is quite good."

"You can't drink coffee," I point out.

"There's always a first. What would you recommend?" he asked. Despite his inquisitive words, his face looked pained at the idea of consuming human drink.

Demetri is many things, but he's bad at keeping disdain from his face.

I grimaced. "Ok, something is off. You only show up when Aro wants something, and Aro certainly doesn't want you to drink coffee."

"Can't I miss you?" Demetri asks dryly.

"We don't like each other"

"Things change"

"Not you, and certainly not...your kind."

Demetri's pretense of civility disappeared. "Just let me drink a cup of this disgusting swill and sit with you for an hour. I'll leave soon enough."

I stare at Demetri's agitated state. His jaw was tense. He obviously didn't want to be here, but he was forcing himself to sit here, drink coffee, and make conversation with me.

'Why are you here?" I demanded again.

Demetri's red eyes flash murderously at me. "I'm here to take you on a date," he bites out.

His face and tone of voice was just asking for a smack down.

"Wow, Demetri. I haven't pegged you as a masochist. If I had known, I'd find a nice dominatrix for you. Kate's unfortunately taken, but I'm sure she'll electrocute you whenever you want," I teased the sour-faced vampire.

Seeing Demetri's lack of movement, I realize that he really intends on sitting here for an hour. If I have to suffer with him, I might as well get my entertainment's worth.

"You know, I'm actually kind of hungry for some Italian right now. There's a lovely full course meal restaurant I've been meaning to try. You'll have to eat as well since you pay per head," I cheerfully state, relishing in his horrified demeanor.

"If it makes you happy," he says, face twisted in pain.

"Yes," I purred, "it would make me _very_ happy."

.

* * *

.

Two glasses of wine, five courses, and a delicious tiramisu later, Demetri looks ready to hurl.

I would be sympathetic, but I'm really not. Last time we went on a mission, Demetri woke me up at the crack of dawn to get an early drop on a particularly tricky vampire.

Eating the last few bites of tiramisu, I look at Demetri pointedly. "I hope you have a good reason for wasting all of this delicious food. You're just going to throw it back up anyway."

Demetri scowls, "You think I'd eat this out of my free will?"

"Well, it's definitely not because of me," I say, "the only person you listen to is Aro."

"Indeed," he mutters, "the things I do for my Master."

I roll my eyes at his melodramatic words. "Sure, like Aro asked you to eat dinner with me. He's considerate that way, pimping you out for my nighttime amusement."

Demetri fidgets in his seat and looks away. His shifty demeanor tips me off that I've hit the nail on the head.

I throw my napkin at him.

"Aro is pimping you out to me? We don't even like each other!"

Demetri glares at me, blonde hair spilling across his eyes. "Since you declined Felix's interest because of his intimidating frame, Master Aro guessed that someone of my stature would be more physically pleasing"

My face soured.

_Excuse me?_

_._

* * *

.

"My dear, aren't you glad I sent Felix and Demetri your way?" Aro sang into the phone, "they're some of my best guards. Fine specimens."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Please don't send any more guards to seduce me, Aro."

"Seduce is such a terrible word. Think of it more like matchmaking," Aro mused. "We were so disappointed when we heard your sister absconded with that werewolf. Really, a werewolf of all creatures!" Aro sniffs into the phone, "For someone with your heritage and talents, a strong gifted vampire is the only suitable match."

"It's alright," I said wryly, "I have no plans to dally with any vampires, werewolves, or humans at all."

"A pity. A young beautiful girl like you needs to explore different types of vampires to find the best one possible."

"I don't think my father and Carlisle would agree with you."

Aro chuckles. "Your father and Carlisle will agree I do know best sometimes. While it was unfortunate Felix and Demetri were not to your liking, I believe we can find someone special for you soon enough."

Before I can get a word in, Aro silky adds, "I shall see you in Volterra soon, dear Carlie."

When the phone disconnects, I groan into my desk.

_No, Aro, no._

.

* * *

.

"Carlie," Heidi calls from the alleyway, her arm gesturing to me to follow her through the backstreets of Volterra.

I smiled at the beautiful vampire. For all that Heidi's job was horrendous, her charm was inescapable. It's hard to dislike her.

"Looking hot as usual," I complimented. Today, Heidi was decked out in a tight black minidress and seamed stockings. Her long mahogany hair was tied into a cute tight bun.

"Thanks. The seamed stockings you bought were wonderful. They really bring the whole outfit together," she says, pleased with my gift from the last time we met.

"I'm glad they worked out."

While the two of us were navigating the maze to the underground city, I felt compelled to ask her about my dating shenanigans with Felix and Demetri.

"Did Felix and Demetri tell you about...?"

Heidi laughed throatily, "Yes. It was quite entertaining. From what I understand, they are terrible seducers."

I grumbled in agreement. "I hope Aro will stop matchmaking. It's getting uncomfortable."

We're stopped near the entrance of the Volterra and Heidi grins at me. "I'm afraid I have to go fishing, so I'll miss the show. Let me know how it goes." She winks at me, "Remember, third times the charm."

.

As usual, Aro meets me in the throne room. His pitch-black long robes stuck out in the crowd of vampires toiling around.

Upon my arrival, Aro beams in delight.

"Carlie, dear one, you've returned!" he cried. His voice was low, but all the vampire's turned to look at me.

Ignoring the scrutiny, I tried my best to glide over to Aro in a smooth vampire-like fashion.

"Yes, my King."

Although I was technically running missions for Aro, I had no intention of ever calling him "master." As a sign of respect, I settled on King instead. I reached out with a small canvas bag, the bag that contained the gifts of other vampires. Aro took them from me, tucking them into his voluminous robes.

"Ahh, a wonderful addition to our collection of gifts." The vampires, particularly Jane, stiffened at the thought of my gift.

Yup, I'm officially Aro's favorite.

Aro reached out to me. "Come here, child. Let me get a good look at you." His palms reached out for my face. Even though his gift hasn't worked the many times he tried, he was insistent on touching me with his palms each time we've met. Of course, he never manages to break Bella's shields.

"You look thin," he chides, "Have the Cullens not been feeding you well? No worries, Heidi is fetching us supper. You can feed well tonight."

"I'm okay," I said wryly. I'd rather not eat a screaming tourist.

Knowing well enough that I won't cave for fresh human blood, Aro just sighs in dismay.

"Starving yourself is not healthy, child."

.

Aro's expression suddenly turns suspiciously cheerful. "Come, let me introduce you to one of our latest additions." Aro tilt's his head to the side. "William, dear?"

A vampire leaning against the wall straightens. Stepping out of the shadows, I instantly noticed this male vampire's sculpted features.

All the male vampires in the guard were attractive, but this one in particular was devastating.

He reminded me of Hyacinth, an infamous lover of the Greek god, Apollo. The myth of Hyacinth was that he was a haunting devastating human beauty, drawing in not only one, but several gods with his exquisiteness.

This vampire was like the Hyacinth depicted from Renaissance paintings, all elegant lines and dark beauty. Pale skin, raven hair, and plush lips, William could pass off as a walking daydream.

My mouth went dry.

William, the horrible sinful vampire, opened his mouth and spoke. "Yes, master?"

_Damnit, even his voice was mesmerizing._

Aro crooned, "Dear William, why don't you show Carlie to her quarters? I'm sure you two have much to speak on."

William dips his head in acknowledgement, and reaches out a hand to me. "May I escort you, Miss Cullen?"

"Y-yes," I choke out, reaching for his hand.

The throne room had gone still now as everyone was watching the two of us. They were listening to my heart pound, my voice stutter, and my sweat gland working in overdrive.

Aro was beaming in pleasure, absolutely ecstatic at my receptive response. "Wonderful," he sang, "absolutely wonderful."

My face flushes in morticiation.

_Goddamnit, Aro._

William gracefully leads me out of the throne room and to the private quarters of the guard. We don't make any small talk. I'm too embarrassed at the entire situation to try and William seems like enough of a gentleman to pick up the hint.

We approach the end of the hallway and he stops.

"Here are your rooms," he says, his free hand gracefully gesturing to the door next to us.

"Thank you," I murmur.

Before I can remove my hand from his cold grasp, William twists my wrist gently. Head bending down, he kisses the back of my hand.

His red eyes peek out with a knowing tease.

"Have a good night, Miss Cullen."

I gasp, my heart stuttering at the sight.

I tried to remember how to exhale. I looked away, blushing furiously red. William was still, patiently waiting for me to collect my senses. I fumbled out some peasantry or the other before collecting my hand back.

William smiles, utterly enchanting like the rest of him.

Dazzled, I stumble away from him.

Turning on my heel, I backtrack quickly into my room for solace. Collapsing on the bed, I smother my face into the sheets to muffle my anxious whimpers.

I've never felt like this before. I've never met anyone so enthralling or someone who left me so many butterflies from a simple kiss on the hand.

I scold myself for being foolish. _He's not serious, Aro put him up to this._

Still, in the lonely shadows of my room, I cautiously touch the back of my hand, right where William kissed me. Curled into myself, I press my lips against the same spot where his lips touched my skin.

If my face reddens with longing...well, that's a secret I'll keep to myself.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
> Poor, Carlie.
> 
> Aro is like a nosy overbearing grandmother who doesn't care he's being shameless and embarrassing everyone around him. I guess he's also very invested in seeing Carlie mate and produce gifted children. Since Bella+Edward gifts influenced Carlie's gifts, Aro is quite invested in Carlie's romantic partners...gotta be quality bois.
> 
> This is also Aro trying to tie Carlie down to him by matchmaking her and someone loyal from his guard. He went with Felix because he's buff and then Demetri because he and Carlie interact a lot together. Then, Aro realized that he needs to go for utterly heartbreaking stud-muffin to really sink his hooks into Carlie. Lmao, maybe he changed someone for the sole purpose of seducing Carlie. (william is OC btw)
> 
> I added the whole Carlie working for Aro bit because I wanted to rationalize why Carlie and Aro would be on good-ish relations.
> 
> Questions for Readers: What did you like? How likely is Aro going to chuck Volturi guards to seduce Carlie? (i low key want to add that to QS) What else what you like to read?


End file.
